Two New Year's Resolutions for a Smart New Year

As we roll into another year, it’s time to set resolutions that make us healthier, wealthier, and wiser. But let’s keep it simple this time, folks. No fad diets, juice cleanses, or "hot yoga on a paddleboard at sunrise" trends. Instead, I propose two easy, practical resolutions:

1. Take Care of Your Home
2. Avoid Bitcoin and Other Cryptocurrencies Like the Plague

Resolution #1: Love Your Home

Your home isn’t just where you binge-watch Netflix or argue with your family about thermostat settings. It’s your biggest investment and a smart one at that! Real estate historically grows in value and offers the unique combination of utility (you live in it!) and long-term appreciation.

So, why not give your house a little TLC? Fix that leaky faucet, clean those gutters, and maybe even repaint that peeling trim. Not only will these small actions keep your home looking spiffy, but they’ll also protect its value. Neglecting maintenance is like skipping exercise—not a big deal in the short term, but over time, the results can be disastrous. A little effort now will save you from the financial equivalent of huffing and puffing your way up a single flight of stairs later.

Besides, caring for your home is immensely satisfying. A freshly cleaned garage or a perfectly organized pantry can spark more joy than Martha Stewart herself. Who needs therapy when you can power-wash your driveway?

Resolution #2: Avoid Bitcoin and Other Crypto Gambles

Now, let’s talk about a financial "investment" that’s neither smart nor satisfying: Bitcoin. Or as I like to call it, “Behold, I Took a Chance, Oh No,” or bit-CON, for short.

Bitcoin is the financial equivalent of your loud cousin's pyramid scheme pitch over Thanksgiving dinner: “Bro, it’s totally the future. I made, like, $10,000 overnight!” What your cousin won’t mention is how he lost $20,000 the week after.

Cryptocurrencies are the playground of the Greater Fool Theory, which says you’ll profit as long as there’s a bigger fool willing to buy at a higher price. When the music stops and the fools run out, the game is over, and you’re left holding digital monopoly money.

Bitcoin's rise and fall are like the world’s wildest roller coaster. Sure, you might scream with excitement on the way up, but brace yourself for the inevitable plummet. Unlike your home—where improvements actually add value—Bitcoin has no underlying worth. You can’t live in it, you can’t rent it, and you can’t even hold it. It’s just a number on a screen.

Take the tulip craze of the 1630s: people were trading rare tulip bulbs for the price of houses until someone realized, “Wait, these are just flowers.” Crypto enthusiasts will one day have the same revelation: “Wait, these are just… codes?”

Keep it Simple

This year, invest in something real, like your home. It’s a place for life, love, and growth—not fleeting numbers on a blockchain. Resolve to skip the crypto drama and focus on what truly adds value to your life. Your house will thank you.

Here’s to a happy, safe, and smart New Year!